Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
