he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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