so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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