have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
