Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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