bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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