No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
