I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
