He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
