Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
