throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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