Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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