My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
