No subtext here. People are naked.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
