What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
