She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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