SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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