Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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