she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
