Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's official drugs can't kill me
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
