i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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