We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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