I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
