I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
