How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
there's paper in my vomit.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
