how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
