Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
