this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
