you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
