The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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