covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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