so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
