I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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