I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
