That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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