I smell stomach acid.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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