Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
