i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
