i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
