nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
