he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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