I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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