i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
please come you make the beer taste better
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
