i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
