big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
