You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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