how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
