She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
