Don't you send me to vm
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
