Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
