My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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