I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
