She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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