Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
