i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
