wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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