I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
