a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
