by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
