Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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