Who wears a wallet chain?!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
