i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
