North Korea, Best Korea!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
