I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
