I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
