There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
