And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
