1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
